I’ve been thinking about a moment from The Bear... yes, the show that hits close to home for anyone who's ever tried to do something with excellence while under pressure.

There’s this scene where Richie is polishing forks….

Last week we talked about what to do when someone on your team isn’t quite cutting it—whether it’s time to train them, reassign them or (deep breath) let them go.

So.... let’s say you decided to train them.

Great!

But before we move on, let me say something that might feel familiar and might hurt an eensy weensy bit…

Last week, we did a little inventory. We looked around and asked: Who’s traveling with me? And wait, WHY are they even here?

So this week? Let’s deal with what happens when the answer is…it’s complicated.

Maybe it’s your cousin who’s now your social media manager. (But she doesn’t really do social media.)

Maybe it’s your friend-turned-contractor who still hasn’t learned what a deadline is.

Or maybe it’s your husband—who’s also your cofounder—and uh, you can’t exactly “let him go.”

Last week, we clearly DID step on toes... many of you told me so.  We used a hiking analogy to make the point that delegation isn't a dirty word.

You’re hiking with your people—but somehow you’re the only one carrying the load. Seriously???

Now.... I know it's tempting to start handing out trail mix and assigning roles, but before you do, I want you to take a minute to look around.

Let’s start here: I’m about to step on some toes. Yours, mine, and probably a few folks who aren't even on this list. But we’ve gotta talk about this.

There’s a moment that sneaks up on so many of us—when you're standing in the kitchen, or on a Zoom call, or staring down your to-do list—and the quiet resentment starts to bubble.

"Why am I the one who always has to handle this?"

"Why does everything fall on me?"

Wanna learn the filter that landed me in Miami? (I'm assuming that's intriguing enough that you've kept reading.)

It's tempting to think that I say all these things in my Friday newsletter but don't actually do them.

No shade; I get that.

But here I am, in Mi-am-i, because I used a go-to tool that I've shared with you before. It's a filter that's simple and effective, and one I use all the time... so much so that it's like putting my seatbelt on.... I use this without even thinking.

So how did I end up here?

Let’s get right into it and talk about when dreaming becomes dodging.

You know that moment... The dream is calling you, and it's so clear in your head, but then it moves from the Dreaming Stage to the Doing Stage, and suddenly, you start squirming.

That’s the moment when some of us unconsciously sabotage the whole thing by pivoting to something new.

Not because we’re lazy. Not because we don’t care.

But because finishing something makes it REAL—and real means...

Last week I talked about how I've been tryin' to hold on through a wild season of change. 

This week? Let's talk about that wheel that gets extra wobbly during times like this: Friendship.

And to be real, I’m not just talking about friendships.

I’m talking about the shame and tension that comes with not being the friend you wish you could be.

A couple of people recently asked me how the house is coming along… and that’s when it hit me: I’m basically living in a full-on metaverse of reinvention.

My physical home is being renovated….

It’s Sunday afternoon in downtown Raleigh. Over 100 Triangle Leaders are gathered. Dynamic conversations abound. And somehow I found myself in the middle of it…

I’m not talking about saying yes to everything; in fact, I want to talk about doing exactly the opposite. I’m talking about clearing out the clutter and making room for the things that really light us up, the things that make us shout "YES!" to the sky.

Can you remember a time when you witnessed the birth of an idea? Or a time when you created the environment that allowed for really good brainstorming? Moments like this are powerful and are often the beginnings of “good trouble.” Let’s talk about how to do this.

There’s is no doubt that January 1st is a powerful milestone, but it’s only as potent as the energy you put into preparing for it. And if you put the time in now, you’ll start the year off sharp, focused and ready to take on your goals!

Social norms and conventional leadership often signal that ‘taking up space’ is selfish, unproductive and a waste of time. And as leaders we can feel obligated to strike the match and lead the way wherever we go. But really, there are times when taking a softer and quieter approach is optimal—for your sake, and for the sake of those around you.

Here it is… your annual reminder to dump out that drawer, sort through the random stuff you’ve collected over the year, and get things back in order. You’ll feel sooooooo much better after you do!

When did the magic of recess get left behind in our memories? How did it get replaced by overwork and burnout? There’s probably a million little reasons, but today… we’re taking recesses back!

In my world, autumn is a time to ground your energy, settle in and reflect on the natural cycle of change. Amen, amen! Let’s talk.

Intrigued by the Fab 4 - the key contributors to any high performing team? Then you’ll want to dig deeper as we introduce the 4x4… the four positive tendencies of each of the Fab 4.

Last week, we talked about why the room is better because you’re in it. But what if I told you there’s more to the story. What if the impact that you have in that room is directly tied to knowing and boldly owning your lane of influence!

No matter what role you play in your company, if YOU show up, your team and organization benefit. Fresh ideas, innovative approaches and critical validations all thrive when you and those around you ‘bring it’ in critical moments. This is especially true of historically suppressed voices.